Two relationship experts came up with a list of eight rules for healthy arguments. If you’re a fan of “Married at First Sight”, you might recognize their names: Dr. Jessica Griffin and Dr. Pepper Schwartz.
They say the idea that healthy couples don’t fight is a big misconception. They just argue more “effectively.”
Here are their top eight ground rules for healthy arguments . . .
1. Be honest but not cruel.
2. No name-calling or shaming.
3. Your goal is to resolve things so you can move forward, not to “win” the fight.
4. Never quit in the middle and storm out. They say it’s okay to ask for a short, 20-minute break though.
5. Always assume you both want the same thing. To connect and improve your relationship.
6. Take the stance, “It’s you and me against the problem, not you against me.”
7. Try to use “I feel” statements instead of blaming each other.
8. State POSITIVE needs. Like, “I need to feel closer to you.” (As opposed to, “I need you to stop being an IDIOT.”)